Hmmm... JAMB Question
“Like honestly babes, you need to take a chill pill. You are always all up in my business. No wonder Timi broke up with you.” Taiwo accused
“Huh?! Excuse you? How dare you?!”
Okay… now is the time to take that chill pill, honey. Come on, breathe… atta girl!! He-he. Hello Divas!! Today’s post title was a gift from the church. Literally. Driving past gbagada, we saw this banner advertising a church program titled “WOULD YOU DATE YOU?” It took a second drive by to get our minds rolling with the question and answers that revolved around self- deception and then slow honesty. Because we went through this process, it hardly seemed fair that we let you idle away in blissful ignorance. We should stress this though, your “undateability” (err… for lack of a proper term?) does not necessarily mean you are a horrible person and hence “undateable”, No. It simply means there are factors in place in your life that make you a scary prospect for the gentleman hunks out there. Let us consider the case of a lady we know. For the sake of perceived privacy, we would call her Tee. Tee is a beautiful lady in her mid-30s. She has a wonderful job as a PR Manager with one of the top banks in the country. She is Made!! Literally and figuratively. However, she is so absorbed in her work that she has become what we think of as “boring” and the gentlemen think of as “downright painful”. A normal conversation with her would go like this:
“So what do you do apart from be beautiful?” (blush) I am a PR manager with blah blah blah
“Oh really? Sounds like fun, but what do you do for leisure?” I am almost always at work keeping bad press away.
“Okay, but how about when you do have time to yourself?” I read or go to the movies.
(gulp) “you don’t go dancing or anything? Party?” Ha-ha, I wish. The noise at parties can grate on my nerves. I just need peace and…
He drowns out the rest of her speech at this point and if you look properly, you will notice that his eyes are probably glazed over and haunted like a dog seeking freedom… away from her! Well, except he is one of those boring guys that consider fun a huge taboo in the land of maturity (Yimu!!) Real men are looking for women with fun personalities and not women that would bore them to death. Yeah we know, you practically wrote the kama sutra, you cook a mean dish, blah blah blah. How is he going to find all of this out if you do not hold his interest from your first conversation? Na wa oh, aunty!
One thing we should all know is that physical attraction is actually only half the battle when it comes to securing a relationship. If you have nothing else going for you, we can categorically tell you that looks would keep you around for only so long. Na fine girl them go chop? As Divas, we know it is never worth it if we cannot keep the man as long as we desire to. We hold the yam and the knife so to speak. What happens if your knife is rusty or chipped though?
It is very easy for us to throw stones forgetting that we live in glass houses. “Banke is just too lazy. She’s bossy. She’s cheap. She’s too clingy. She’s too plastic and expensive…” Do us a favour, will you? While you are busy dissing another babe, would you please take a minute to do some self- examination? Would you date you?! We have friends that are pretty cool as friends, but if asked by our male friends if they make good dates… *HUGE GULP*
Remember, what you may think is your best attribute might not mean ish to the man. Give him some credit and do not jump on your high horse. He does not know you enough to appreciate that attribute yet. He is just meeting you. He wants to know if he can have a great time with you and no, we are not talking sex (though that helps greatly at some point). He wants to know if you can hold a great conversation with him. If you can make him laugh. If you can get silly together. He does not want to know how you do your job (except he is in the same line of work, then that is either networking or industrial espionage at work).
So as usual we want to know your responses, or not. Be honest with yourselves. The truth hurts, but lies are worse. Would you date you? What do YOU say?